The Lost Woman by Patricia Beer

 

The Lost Woman

By Patricia Beer

 

My mother went with no more warning
than a bright voice and a bad pain.
Home from school on a June morning
And where the brook goes under the lane
I saw the back of a shocking white
Ambulance drawing away from the gate.

She never returned and I never saw
Her buried. So a romance began.
The ivy-mother turned into a tree
That still hops away like a rainbow down
The avenue as I approach.
My tendrils are the ones that clutch.

I made a life for her over the years.
Frustrated no more by a dull marriage
She ran a canteen through several wars.
The wit of a cliché-ridden village
She met her match at an extra-mural
Class and the OU summer school.

Many a hero in his time
And every poet has acquired
A lost woman to haunt the home,
To be compensated and desired,
Who will not alter, who will not grow,
A corpse they need never get to know.

She is nearly always benign. Her habit
Is not to stride at dead of night.
Soft and crepuscular in rabbit-
Light she comes out. Hear how they hate
Themselves for losing her as they did.
Her country is bland and she does not chide.

But my lost woman evermore snaps
From somewhere else: ‘You did not love me.
I sacrificed too much perhaps,
I showed you the way to rise above me
And you took it. You are the ghost
With the bat-voice, my dear. I am not lost.’

About the Poet

 

Patricia Beer was born on 4th of November 1919 in England. She was a poet, essayist, memoirist, novelist and literary academic. She worked as a teacher of literature, firstly in the universities of Padua and Rome and later as senior lecturer in English at Goldsmiths college in London. Death and the haunting of the living by the dead were subjects Beer returned to repeatedly in her seven collections of poetry. These themes can be clearly seen in ‘The Lost Woman’ as well.

 

About the Poem

 

It is a profound poem that reflects the feelings of loss and grief between a deceased mother and her young daughter. Though she speaks of the death and loss of her mother with compassion, aggressive undertones are very obviously showcasing the struggle she is facing coming to terms with the death and loss. The poem highlights the topics of blame and identity as the daughter sifts through her emotions to find the voice of her mother, not to comfort her, but to guider her into realizing the truth about who exactly the lost woman is.

 

First Stanza

 

The poetess starts her poem by informing the readers about a mother’s sudden death. Her voice clear though her body was in intense pain. One morning in June the speaker came home from school and was shocked to see the back of a white ambulance next to the little creek that flows beneath the narrow road. It was leaving the front gate of their house. The diction in the first stanza gives a lot away about the emotions the narrator has packed in her words. First, she states that her mother ‘went’ without much of a warning. The tone indicates that perhaps the speaker is placing blame on the mother, almost as if to say that she chose to leave. She was not taken away but rather ‘went away’. There is a feeling of hostility from the narrator. The only warning she claims she received was not ‘more than a bright voice and a bad pain’. It shows that even though her mother had been suffering from pains, she had been optimistic, and cheerful perhaps to shelter her daughter from the distress of her agony. But instead of being grateful to her mother, the daughter is upset because her sudden death left her unprepared.

 

Second Stanza

In the second stanza, it is stated that the mother never came back after the ambulance took her away and the speaker did not get the chance to see her buried. Therefore, the speaker romanticized their relationship in her mind. The daughter continues to describe that her mother who was once clingy like ivy has become a tree but still, she is unattainable. Like a rainbow, her mother keeps hopping further away, each time the speaker tries to get closer. Now, the speaker is the one who is reaching out to hold on to her mother.

Here again in the second stanza, the daughter continues to place blame on her mother. She thinks of her mother often and knows that she cannot be in her company again. The daughter says that ‘she never returned’ implying that the mother was in some way responsible not coming back. This behaviour of holding her mother accountable for the loss she feels, displays to the reader that the speaker has not forgiven her mother for not preparing her for the death and grief she had to face. The daughter calls the experience of losing her mother ‘a romance’. This is an accurate expression of her feeling as romances are full of not only love and feelings but also of yearning. It gives the reader an indication that she still longs for her mother’s company. The speaker talks about her mother’s transformation from an ivy to a tree. It gives the reader an insight into the daughter’s emotions. Ivy is generally known as an evergreen that thrives in almost all conditions and a tree is somewhat more seasonal. The speaker is implying that her mother who was ever dependable and available to her all times, has now become more distant. Every time, she tries to get closer she notices that a great distance still remains.

 

Third Stanza

 

As the years passed, the speaker created a different life for her mother. In her fantasies, her mother was not stuck in a boring marriage. She ran a military snack bar during war. Smart and articulate in a town filled with unoriginal ideas, she finally found someone who could keep up with her while attending an extracurricular class at a summer program.

In this stanza, it is revealed by the narrator that she viewed her mother’s marriage as boring and dull. In her fantasy, she used to run a canteen during times of war. She was an intelligent woman who was also involved in getting part time education. It was during her extra-curricular class that she met her match.

 

Fourth Stanza

 

The speaker says that the all poets and heroes have their own lost woman, a ghostly presence that fills the home. She is someone they can mourn for and desire for her company. She represents an idealized presence that these men wish to recover or make amends with, symbolizing a deep emotional need or unresolved feelings. The memory of the lost woman remains static and it never changes. The image of the lost woman remains the same, frozen in the past. She is not subject to the changes that life brings. This lost woman is metaphorically a dead figure in their lives. She is someone who remains in their memory but whom they never had the chance to comprehend fully. This perpetual state of unknowing contributes to her haunting presence.

 

Fifth Stanza

 

The speaker describes the lost woman as generally kind and gentle. Unlike the typical ghosts or haunting figures that appear ominously in the dead of night, the lost woman does not make her presence in a frightening or aggressive manner. She appears softly and subtly in the twilight. Here, the expression rabbit-light coveys a sense of gentleness and quite presence. It evokes a feeling of calm rather than fear. The people who have lost her, feel a deep sense of regret and reproach themselves for the loss. They blame themselves for the circumstances that led to her death or absence. Her country means the realm of the dead or the place where her memory resides is described as bland, possibly indicating a peaceful, uneventful state. She does not scold those who are left behind, further emphasizing her gentle and forgiving nature

 

Sixth Stanza

 

In the last stanza, there is a shift in tone as the lost woman in the speaker’s memory becomes more accusatory. The lost woman bitterly criticizes the speaker and accuses her that she did not love her, indicating unresolved conflict and emotional pain. She reflects on her sacrifices, implying that she gave up a lot for the poet. She suggests that she guided the poet and helped her to surpass her which might imply educational, personal or professional success. There is a hint of regret or resentment in the acknowledgement that the poet took the opportunity to advance beyond her. In a striking reversal, the lost woman claims that the poet is the one who is like a ghost, with a ‘bat-voice’- a voice that is shrill, elusive or difficult to hear clearly. She declares that it is the poet who is lost, suggesting that the poet is haunted by the guilt, unresolved emotions or the memory of the lost woman.